Life sucks. Especially when you are in Stats class, alone with your problems.

And this is why the Berg is the greatest person I know ;)

Red Sux: by Kyle Ahlberg

Back in the year 1918 the Red Sox were good, very good. They won two straight world series and won 6 of the last 7 series, all behind George Herman "Babe" Ruth. During the off season, a team playing in the shadows of the Dodgers and the Highlanders (later Giants) acquired the Babe for $160,000, hence ending the Red Sox era and entering a dynasty: a Yankee dyansty. Since getting rid of the Babe, the Red Sox had 17 yes 17 losing seasons, while the Yankees had one of the best teams EVER: the 1923 Yankees won 123 regular season games, Babe threw 12 shutouts (yes he was a pitcher back then not a DH), and broke the record for home runs (60 in 140 games).

1. Red Sox suck b/c they let go a God in the sporting world: Babe Ruth.

Fast forward 20 years. Ted Williams I must say for a Red Sox was good. Jumping Joe Dimaggio was in my opinion better (he left baseball in 1941 to fight the Japs then came back in 1945) only in 49 to hit in 56 straight games.

2. Red Sox suck because Ted Williams was the only good thing in 35 years to happen to them.

Then of course the Red Sox both sucked and blew from 1953 to 1979 (we'll get back to '79 later folks). In the meantime Phil Rizzoto broke the record for at bats by a short stop, Mickey Mantle drank 3 bottles of Jack Daniels, threw up in the clubhouse and still got 56 HR, Roger Maris hit 61 HR in one season (breaking the Babe's record), and let's not forget Yogi, and Whitie's perfect game in the world series of '62(I think). Meanwhile the Red Sox sucked.

Flash forward to 1979, the year the curse started. The Red Sox having been ahead of the Blue Jays by 7 games halfway through the season, and the Yankees being in dead last 3 games behind the Orioles and 10 behind the Sux I mean Sox. The Yankees go on a rampage behind Reggie Jackson, Creg Nettles, Thurman Munson, Goose Gossage, and Bucky Dent. They won 9 out of 10 games from July to September, thus setting the stage for the 2nd greatest game of all time. The game was one game to see who will go to the playoffs and who will go home. In the top of the 9th, 1 out bucky dent comes to bat hitting just 2 homers the ENTIRE year, fouls one off his foot, breaks his bat. The bat boy gave Bucky 3rd baseman Creg Nettles' bat, then on a 0-1 pitch he hits one over the Green Monster in right field and wins the game against the Red Sox at home. During the season Carlton Fisk and Thurman Munson got into a fight that Munson hit Fisk with his bat then gave Fisk a concussion.

3. Red Sox suck due to fact Bucky Dent is a God.

Game 6 World Series: Red Sox at Mets at Shea, bill buckner is 6 outs from breaking the curse, Boston is now giving each other rim jobs in the street and circle jerks, then a ground ball from Howard Johnson goes right between the legs of 1st baseman Bill Buckner to give him 1st base. The Mets later score 4 runs in the 8th and win game 7.

4. Red Sux b/c Bill Bucker can't field.

Now 1999 ALCS, the Yankees have won the last 2 of 3 world series behind Jeter, Willams, O'neil, Cone, and brosius. The Yankees win 5 of 7 to go on and beat the Red Sox and win the world series against the Braves, hence they are the team of the century. Let's re-cap: world series titles for the Yankees (as of '99) 25, red sox 4 (0 since 1918).

The stage has been set 2003 the Yankees go into the ALCS after beating the Twins in 4, the Red Sox sweep the A's in 3. During the season the Yankees and Red Sox met 19 times, the red sox won 9 and the Yankees won 10. At the end the Yankees take the AL east and the Red Sox win the wild card only behind 2 games.

Game one goes to the Yankees behind a powerful Andy Pettite, game two goes the Red Sox behind Yankee killer knuckler baller Tim Wakefield, game three, oh game three, Pedro Martinez the sensation the pride of Boston, against Roger Clemens, once a Boston icon (who was in the world series in '89) now on the Yankees in what the press dubbed could be his last game. Manny Ramirez gets up and crowds the plate like the asshole he is, and Clemens like the dominate pitcher he is throws up and in making Manny stare him down (later Manny goes down looking in strikes). Then Jorge Posada gets up and is hit in the foot by Pedro, he calmly goes to first knowing that this is an opportunity to score. Now Karem Garcia gets up later in the game and gets nailed by a 98 mph fastball in the back. He yells at Pedro, Pedro yells back, Jorge yells, and then the benches clear. Yankees bench coach Don Zimmer who got a brain hemorrhage in 1957 by a fastball to the dome charges Pedro, and Pedro being from a country in Central America plays matador, pushing Zimmer to the ground with fury.

The Yankees go on to win the game, but the battle lines have been drawn, and the curse is starting to awaken. Early in the season, Ted Willams the Iron Horse of the Red Sox dies, and his family wants to put him on ice to thaw him out for later people a la Walt Disney. Little do they know the money is not there for the complete deep freeze, so they chop off his head and freeze it, but on the way from Massachusetts to Arizona (where the ice plant is) they lose his head later to find it in Florida.

5. Red Sox suck because their only good player is now a thawed out skull.

Game 7, bottom of the 8th, Kyle Ahlberg is now on his 13th Sam Adams and 7th shot of Jager.

Red Sox are 6 outs away from going to the World Series and beating the Yankees. However, Pedro Martinez who came on in relief is tired. His little body can't handle the stress. He lets a change-up go up stairs and Jorge Posada hits a double, later to be driven in by Rubin Sierra's double who is brought in by Nick Johnson's single. TIED GAME BITCH.

Bottom of the 11th, score 6-6, Tim Wakefield is pitching and Aaron Boone is up. Boone is 0-3 in the game, and 1-17 in the playoffs. Wakefield is 4 wins 0 loses in the playoffs.

First pitch, knuckle ball. Boone sees this, makes a downward cut swing, and boom comes off his bat and lands in some lucky bastard's lap. Game over Yankees win tttttttthhhhheeee Yankees win!

6. Red Sox suck b/c Babe Ruth likes a fucking good curse.

You see friends, it is not an "evil empire" or luck on the Yankees side: it's passion and desire. When you grew up you never said "Daddy, I want to be a Red Sox fan because they come in second," which is what makes this country great. First is important. Winning is everything. So God less the Yankees and God bless America.

And friends, if you see a kid wearing a Yankees suck shirt, hit them in the face with brass knuckles.

THE END. REDSOX SUCK.

Eyelids half-closed in slumber, he sighs a barely inaudible murmur as careless strands of my hair tickle his shoulder blade. You would think that I'd be accustomed to this daily routine, but I always jump in surprise when he kisses the nape of my neck. Feeling the inside of my thigh curl around his waist, he turns around to embrace me, and thread his arms through mine.

I greet him with a lazy grin as my eyelids flicker in adjustment to the morning light. Hey sleepyhead, he smiles. Searching his curious stare brings a new revelation with each passing view. The blind-filtered sunrays that bring warmth to our intertwined bodies amplify the natural glow that emanates from him. I'll never tire of the visage of morning light that traces his profile and causes his eyes to sparkle. He has such a great smile..

What? I ask. You're beautiful, you know that? Before I can utter a bashful protest, he brushes his lips against mine to reaffirm. Yeah, you are. Our noses nuzzle as his hands stray across my skin, smooth to his touch. Are you going to get up? Nah, I reply. I think I'm going to just stay here with you. My fingertips playfully run down his back. You're a dork! He just grins, Yeah, I am. I still love you, though.

He laughs, I love you too. We make small talk, share kisses, and exchange jokes that only we could understand. We savor the meaningful little things that most tend to forget. I live to make him happy. I live for that laugh. I turn around as he holds me tight once again and my eyes close in the welcome comfort he brings.

My eyes open and I’m swallowed by the darkness of my room. Hey, babe.. my voice echoes as I reach out to someone who isn’t there. My arms come up empty and my hands clutch at wrinkled bedsheets devoid of his presence. The routine we crave is robbed by the distance between us. I briefly glance up at the ceiling knowing that his ache mirrors my own.

The blur of the alarm clock casts a green glow on the wall. I fumble around for my glasses. It reads 3:04AM. I remove my glasses, turn over in a futile attempt to become comfortable, and close my eyes.

I hate that you’re not here..

Last weekend was really necessary.

Friday, me and Maris finally got the chance to hang out. We washed her car, did a terrible job at it, and just chilled until we met up with Collin at the playground and went to Josh's house with Sam, Michelle, Henry, and Dez arriving intermittently. It was definitely an interesting night, but a fun one too. Maris, you kick ass. Haha.

Saturday I had my match against Jon Law at 9AM. It blew. I didn't want to be there at ALL haha. But on the positive side, me and Katie pulled in a win, so Mata couldn't yell at me like we all know she loves to do. Afterwards, I went to Anne Marie's house and she kicked my ass in cards (you bastard lil sis!) until Mike showed up.

It was so great to finally be able to see him again, I've missed him so much. We were all just hanging out until Pat, Badowski, and Dina came over. They showed us their "Beat It" reinaction in the making, and Dina left. We all just watched "The Last Dragon" (Best/Worst movie ever) and goofed off for the rest of the night.

Sunday was Mother's Day and we went out to dinner for Nancy here. I finally got the chance to drive for a few hours with Daddy dearest and went to Mike's afterwards. I went to Walmart with both of the brothers and bought me some aviators for my match on Monday, and Pat got the worst movie ever ("The Wraith"). We came back for their Mother's Day dinner, watched Pat's movie, then me and Mike just hung out until whenever.

Monday was school. Who cares. My match against New Milford was after, Mike came to cheer me on (yay) and we pulled a win against a team with one REALLY pissed off chick. Man. What a bitch. The team won as a whole as well. Good job girls. =) Afterwards, Mike dropped me off, Dez came over for a bit, left, then Mike came back and made me dinner. We hung out 'til about 12:30, then I walked him out to his car in the thunderstorm, which was such an amazing movielike goodbye...

...too bad I managed to lock myself out of the house! We spent forever trying to get back in, but couldn't, so I had to sleep over there until whenever.. but it's okay, I didn't mind seeing him more.

But that's it. Just felt like recapping all of that so I'll remember it ;) This week should be good with lots of tennis, Relay for Life, and the Yankees game. Yay.

This should only make sense to me:

POEM CLENCHED IN THE BEDROOM CORNER

The text
ure of your
skin was no
thing like I
thought
some
thing less than
scars, some
thing more than
words

the frag
ile frag
ment
ed dance
(the broke
en steps)
of an in
jured ball
erina

The text
ure of
your freck
les an in
coherent
babble of
braille

an inter
stellar map
of an un
known galaxy
of an un
imagine
d plan
et or the
infinit
isimal re
mains of an an
cestor slip
ped be
neath your
skin

my so
liloquy trans
lated in
to a tele
graph
ic trans
script of a
ghost
ly moan
ing, writ
ten in your
skin

And that's it.. remind me to write that one down later.