abc
(a)
your workingtitle fails
and you stopshort of the edge
the drive that's given you so much
is
buriedwith
your own last hopes,
(b)
in the last of the starlight
and the last of the day's end
a paper hand, a vacant lot,
summer breeze. twelve
o'clock - time will tell
time / will
(c)
create our rifts, and
I'll be here waiting, this
voicenight
nothing lasts for-ever this time (so
forget it)
for-ever
(d)
as the spaceship
noses up - one last attempt
before
I'll be here waiting, this
crashlanding
if
(e)
n trails
an effortless screaming deity
not much to go by
turn your
new leaf
over
(f)
your rules
your undecide,your self
leave me to
my own de
vices and
next
(g)
time I see that face I'll
(if you were only)
if I screamed so loud I
brokemyheart
you'd know
you'd
(h)
hear the "one last"
I tried so hard
I tried so hard
I lied so the world would only I could
hollow my ancient
focus
(i)
and I take that as it's meant
I never looked back that far
I never wanted to
you never knew, never
knew.
she
(j)
would have walked right out
from that haunted hill in the
forest trees
and a bloodied snow and dream of
sand
(before the illness)
(k)
the medication for
pain, and
medication for
other:
undecided.
undesirable
(l)
side-effects,
much like the sea
much like the sand
much like a beach at night
a beach...
at night...
(m)
forget
I ever lied
I ever leaned toward that light, it
blocked the sun
(your axes...
your zenith)
(n)
but the sunlight,
it carries on somehow,
to the next day
and the next
and we talked once
and so far away
(o)
I've used up my chances I've used you
up
and you knew, unlike what I
expected to find,I was so letdown
so
let down
(p)
and the tail fins & ailerons litter the
landscape where I
hit the ground and shattered
and it was almost like that...
one time
(perhaps I hit the ground too hard)
(q)
the questions,
lies,
other minor
discrepancies
my various flaws in character
and body
(r)
and the torrid beating
of a heart gone stale, and the
decent air of
reminiscent tears...
some childhood...
it's not worth it any more
(s)
slow to move
slow to consequence
secret secretion violence
a shroud of misery
for that I pretend
I pretend to be unnoticed, and
(t)
perhaps I am
and here we are: it's another
"at last,
your time has come"
fadeaway, your tatteredsails
fadeaway
(u)
you're not like I...
not like I imagined
(close)
you're the farthest thing from
(warm)
warm
(v)
dimlights
dimlights on the roof tiles
back street fadeaway
streetcrossing, never lookback
this chapter closes with a...
with a tearing apart
(w)
but why the resounding clash,
as if I scrambled for air?
and perhaps I was not meant to drown
it was not like this
when I dreamed you up
when the world began
(x)
we cross that bridge one last time, I swear
it's only a few feet down
but it's May again
it's 16 May, 2003
where were you?
when I needed you. when
(y)
you smile
it's almost serene
one chapter closes and another begins
one begins
if I'm not there, I'll
see you, good night.
(z)
posted by Kristin @ 7:56:00 PM
