Am I missing something? I'm Helen Keller and there's something going on above my head that I don't see or hear, but I can still sense somehow.

And we walk around selling false versions of the truth we lived on streetcorners like prostitutes, the lies just rolling off our lips with a smiling mockery of sincerity that melts like plastic as soon as our backs are turned.

And we're all feeding that frenzied hungry beast of our own ego. Selling off these lies just because they lend a little bit of a swagger to our walk. Lies that are not only untrue, but also impossible.

I've got a little experiment in human nature going. I don't make the first move; I wait. If you come, you come, and if you don't, you don't. And I don't move one way or another. But you know what? Sometimes, you come. Sometimes, you approach me. And I never asked to be approached. Don't ever spread around this parallel universe version of the truth that you've been spinning out. I sit still in my chair, watching, wait to see what will happen, and you move in close, not me. You.

So don't blame me for the fallout of your actions. If there's blowback, then there is. Accept it. But don't pin the fire on me, because it's not mine at all.

maybe it's the way that you look at me - makes me feel the way that i do. maybe its your laugh, or the way that you talk, or as simple as the way that you walk. i know its hard to explain but when i'm with you, the sun seems to clear all the rain. its only you that could do this to me.

whenever i kiss you i get all dizzy. i get this feeling down inside cuz then i know that you're the only one that i wanna be with - you're the only one I want. and every night when i go to sleep, i know ill see you in my dreams, cuz all the time you'll be always on my mind.

could it be you're smile that'll bring me up when im feeling down? it's only you that will make me feel alright... it's only you.

i lost the love once before, a missing place in my heart. i couldnt take it anymore - all this hurt i felt inside backed up in my soul. it was getting so hard to hide. then you came along, you took the grey from my life. you let me know without saying a word that things... things would be alright.

could it be your smile that could bring me up when im feeling down? it's only you that could make me feel alright... it's only you.
- the youth ahead

I hope you're satisfied with the choices you have made. I wanted you to be happy, but once you've been kicked through the dirt enough times you realize that people have to build their own happiness. And if you want to live in the dark, well, don't complain, don't blame, don't try to say that it's the shadow I'm casting that's blocking your light. Fuck you--I'm through.

Slow to learn... I guess I'm just slow to learn...

You said you'd come around
And I waited for long hours
The time stretching thin as old paper
But you never did
You never showed your face.

You said you'd come around
And I waited in the rain
Without an umbrella
Shivering and soaked
To the skin.
But you never showed your face.

You said you'd come around
And I waited in the cold
My breath standing a frozen sentinel
In front of my face.
But you never came.

So why don't you tell me
Because I'm wet and cold and weary
And this time is digging trenches
Lined and blue
Beneath my eyes

And I'm aching in more ways than one

Will you ever come around?

and i hate.
the way.
i let myself laugh sometimes.
when i don't want to.
because that only makes it cut deeper still.
but it's a hard role to play.
it's cold trying to be aloof.
but it's winter and i don't need
the added chill.

and i hate.
the way.
old habits die hard.
and i catch myself turning
in your direction.
for no reason than that i'm used to.
than that's the way it's been done so long
that i forget how else.
i'm not picking the petals off of fucking daisies.
because i don't want to.
because it's not worth it.
and i've got better things to do with my time.

and i hate.
the way.
i am being told to just stop.
well i am trying.
but i can't just tumble this house of cards.
because it's been stacked so careful.
but i am. i really am.
i'm pulling out slow.
blind eyes can't see, but maybe the same fingers that read braille
can feel how hard i am trying.
to pull out
and not send it all crashing down.
because i've stacked it all so careful.
and i want to make it out intact.
i want to make it out.

and i hate.
the way.
he tells me i'm depressed.
boy, i don't even know the word
never met him face-to-face
never been introduced proper.
sure i've heard his footfalls
seen his prints
his coat hanging up in someone else's house
but we've never met face-to-face.
and i intend to keep it that way.
boy, i'm not depressed.
i don't even know the word.
i'm just hungry.
and i'm not getting anything to eat.
i cannot paint my face a nourished-bright smile
because i don't lie like that.
and an empty stomach don't just pretend to be full
so that you won't see the way it really is.
my empty stomach won't just pretend to be full
because i can't lie like that.

by popular request...

In the hall sits a girl
Resting drunkenly against the corner
Where the thin carpet meets a cruel vanilla wall.
She’s crying
About a boy she let inside
About a boy who did not let her inside
About all the things we cherish,
And how they die.
- K